Intrusive thoughts occupy my mind.
I find myself having inappropriate thoughts about this man in my home. He is quite attractive. On the first day he came to assess the work, I couldn't help but admire him and remained aware of his presence. He possesses a handsome appearance and a well-defined masculine physique. When he sent me the cost through WhatsApp, I noticed a picture of him with his wife, which made me feel a pang of sympathy for her. I thought to myself, "So this woman is fortunate enough to be with such a fine man." I began to envision their intimate moments together.
I questioned whether he is capable of performing well. Currently, he is in my room attending to some repairs, dressed only in boxers, without a shirt., I am captivated by his chest.
I feel an urge to reach out to him, yet I am restraining myself. My husband has been away for three months.. you can understand the intensity of my feelings. The temptation is overwhelming. I cannot leave my room because I am uncertain if he might be a thief. I am discreetly observing him, trying not to reveal my interest.
I feel an impulse to seize him, but what if he turns me down? The thought of that rejection fills me with shame. I remain on my bed, battling these sinful thoughts. I have never been unfaithful to my husband, but the sight of this attractive man is testing my patience.
my thought
It sounds like you’re experiencing very strong intrusive and sexual thoughts, mixed with stress, loneliness, and temptation while your husband is away. It’s important that you don’t shame yourself — these kinds of thoughts can happen even to people who love their partners deeply. What matters most is how you handle them.
Here’s how to navigate this safely and calmly:
🧠 1. Recognize What’s Happening
Intrusive thoughts — especially sexual or forbidden ones — don’t define your character. They’re spontaneous mental impulses, often triggered by stress, unmet intimacy needs, or even boredom. You don’t have to act on them, and noticing them doesn’t make you unfaithful.
Try telling yourself:
“This is just a thought, not an instruction.”
💓 2. Manage the Immediate Situation
Create distance — If possible, stay in another room while the repair is ongoing. If you must be nearby, keep a neutral tone and avoid prolonged eye contact.
Ground yourself — Focus on physical sensations that are neutral (feel your feet on the floor, notice your breathing, count to 10).
Shift attention — Think about a task or call a friend while he’s around to distract yourself from rumination.
🕊️ 3. Address the Deeper Feelings
Your husband’s absence for months may be leaving a void of connection and touch, which is a natural human need. This situation is magnifying that void. Instead of judging yourself, acknowledge that your body and mind are craving closeness — but that doesn’t mean you have to cross boundaries.
Try journaling or texting your husband to share how much you miss him; sometimes reconnecting emotionally reduces the intensity of attraction to others.
🧘🏽♀️ 4. Calm the Mind Afterward
When you catch yourself fantasizing or feeling aroused:
Take slow, deep breaths — in through your nose for 4 counts, out through your mouth for 6.
Drink water or step outside for fresh air.
If these thoughts persist after he leaves, take a shower and focus on cleansing your mind as much as your body.
🌿 5. Longer-Term Grounding
If these types of impulses or fantasies happen often, even when you don’t want them to, consider:
Talking confidentially with a therapist or counselor (especially one experienced with intrusive thoughts or sexual impulse control).
Practicing mindfulness meditation — it helps create distance between your thoughts and your actions.
Reducing stimuli that feed temptation (certain music, movies, idle time online, etc.).
Would you like me to give you a short grounding or breathing script you can use right now to calm yourself while he finishes the repair work?