I am seeking guidance. My fiancé and I became engaged and completed our introduction this year. We were scheduled to marry this year; however, due to my pregnancy, I requested my parents' permission to postpone the wedding until after I gave birth. I am currently five months postpartum, and our wedding has been rescheduled for next year. After giving birth, I traveled to my parents' home when my baby turned two months old so they could assist me, as motherhood has been quite challenging. I have returned to living with my baby daddy, and while our relationship is stable, there was an incident when I wanted to use his phone. I noticed he appeared restless until I finished, which raised my suspicions. Consequently, I checked his phone while he was asleep and discovered that he is dating two new women.
I felt hurt and betrayed, and I recorded videos of his conversations with these women on my phone. I am uncertain about how to proceed. Should I confront him? I have been maintaining a facade of normalcy in our relationship, so he is currently unaware of my knowledge. However, I anticipate that he will ultimately beg for forgiveness. I am contemplating postponing the wedding and informing both sets of parents about his actions, expressing my disinterest in continuing the relationship. I genuinely need advice. Please keep my identity confidential.
My Advise to her below..
You’re in a very difficult emotional position — postpartum recovery, caring for a newborn, and now dealing with betrayal. Let’s walk through this carefully, because your next steps affect not only you but also your child’s stability.
đź’” 1. Acknowledge What You’re Feeling
You have every right to feel hurt, angry, and betrayed. You trusted your fiancĂ©, and finding out he’s seeing other women after welcoming a baby together cuts deep. It’s important to allow yourself to process that pain instead of suppressing it. Don’t rush your decision while you’re emotionally raw.
🧠2. Assess the Situation Objectively
Before you act:
Confirm what you saw — ensure there’s no misunderstanding (the context of messages matters).
elf: Is this a one-time mistake, or a pattern of disrespect?
Reflect on his overall behavior — has he been distant, secretive, or emotionally unavailable?
3. How to Approach Him
It’s understandable you want to confront him, but do it calmly and strategically:
Don’t attack — use “I” statements (e.g., “I feel hurt because…”).
Choose a private, quiet time.
Avoid revealing you snooped immediately; you can start with “I’ve been feeling uneasy lately. Is there anything you need to tell me?”
Observe his reaction — genuine remorse or defensive lies?
If he confesses and is truly sorry, you can discuss boundaries and rebuilding trust. But if he denies despite proof, that’s a red flag.
⏸️ 4. Putting the Wedding on Hold
You’re 100% right to consider pausing the wedding. Marriage should be built on trust, respect, and emotional stability — not pressure or appearances.
You can tell both families:
“I discovered things that made me realize we need time apart to reassess our relationship before marriage. This is not a decision made lightly, but I need to prioritize my emotional wellbeing and my child.”
You owe no one further explanation until you’re ready.
👶 5. Focus on You and Your Baby
Right now, your mental and emotional health are critical — for both you and your child.
Lean on your parents or trusted friends for support.
Take care of your postpartum recovery (your body and mind are still healing).
If possible, seek a counselor or therapist — it helps you process betrayal in a healthy way.
đź•Š️ 6. Long-Term Outlook
Ask yourself:
Can I trust him again?
Is this relationship healthy for me and my child?
Do his actions align with the kind of partner and father I want in my life?
If the answer to any of these is “no,” walking away is not failure — it’s self-respect and protection.
❤️ Final Thoughts
You’re not overreacting. You’re simply protecting your peace.
Putting the wedding on hold is wise. If he truly values you, he’ll take accountability and prove through consistent effort that he’s trustworthy again.
If not — better to end it now than regret it after marriage.
Would you like me to help you draft what to say to both families (a calm message explaining your decision without drama)?