BEST Ways to Spy on a Cheating Spouse

While open, honest dialogue is always the best course of action, it doesn’t always yield open, honest results when you’re dealing with a deceitful partner. And despite the increasingly flexible definitions of relationships, significant others continue to step out on their relationships and their partners. Perhaps, you’re that suspecting partner.

You’ve felt it. That sick, nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach where you are absolutely certain your partner is cheating on you. You’ve recognized the signs. Now you want proof.

Thanks to constantly-evolving tech, while it’s never been easier to cheat, it’s also that much easier to catch the cheaters. Here are some super tech-savvy ways you can use to learn if your partner is cheating.

Disclaimer: do be mindful that some of these methods are not only potentially irreconcilable breaches of privacy (especially if your beau or belle proves innocent), but they may also be legally questionable. Always make your own best judgement calls.

How to catch a cheater: Watch how they behave with their phone

Someone's phone is a treasure trove of information, and as it collects other key data about their life and habits, so it does about their potential indiscretions. Watch for these key behaviours that indicate something may be up: Are they uber-protective of their phone? Do they seldom part with it and take it everywhere they go? Do they always keep it out of sight? (Or always face down? You know the type...). Is the phone always locked, or does it have a privacy screen on that obscures what your partner is doing on it from most over-the-shoulder angles? Do they always have the “Do Not Disturb” function on in your company to keep potentially risky notifications at bay and silent? (On iPhones, look for the half-moon symbol in the upper right corner.) Remember to also look for a potential second (‘burner’) phone, or even alternate SIM cards (less convenient, but also a possibility). You could consider asking to use their phone while somewhere on the go together because your phone *cough* is dead *cough, cough*. It helps if you can get a hold of the phone first before asking for it, so they’re more apt to give you the password.

How to catch a cheater: Touch ID

Once you have access to their phone, if they have a Touch ID feature (or some variant), you could consider swiftly going into their security settings, and add your fingerprint to the saved prints (if they have more than one, perhaps delete one of theirs, so you don’t arouse suspicion).

How to catch a cheater: The Google Chrome password hack

If your partner won’t freely share their phone lock code (such as when you innocently want to check the weather or order a cab), and you can’t keenly observe what code they are putting in, gaining access may be tricky. Luckily, some people may be less protective of their computer passwords, and if they use Google Chrome and are willing to give you access, you may be able to unlock many if not all of their passwords... Ask for their computer password for *insert believable story here*. Once they give it, go to the Chrome browser, Settings, Passwords and Autofill. Once on the passwords log page, you can see what sites they’ve accessed that require passwords. Do a quick scan and see if any illicit sites jump out (pro-tip: Ashley Madison is a bad sign). Then, next to the obscured passwords full of ‘****’ click on the ‘eye’ icon and type in the computer password you’ve just obtained, and voila. Alternately..

How to catch a cheater: Keyloggers

This software can be installed on your computer, and the cheating person using it would never know it's running in the background. These programs can record whatever you want, see the passwords they use, the emails they send, the pages they visit, even record them using the computer.

How to catch a cheater: Look at location history

You can track your partner’s location history if they use Google by clicking on ‘previous destinations’ menu option on the navigation system if you've been given access to it. Alternately, for Android users the Google Timeline feature tracks similarly in the Google Maps app or even Google Maps online, if they are logged in while moving about. You can also type ‘Find My Phone’ into the search bar to see the phone’s current location.

How to catch a cheater: Look at Uber and Waze

Uber conveniently has a safety function that allows a user to indefinitely share their ride status with others. If your partner uses Uber (and possibly any of the other ride-sharing apps), you can ask them to share this with you — they just need to go into the app, go to Settings, then Manage Trusted Contacts, and add you to always receive notification of their rides. For Waze, scan their drive history by clicking on the magnifying glass icon (each destination appears alongside a clock icon). Do note that the app doesn’t provide a ton of detail, but it can tip you off if certain unfamiliar destinations keep reappearing or are saved under favourites.

How to catch a cheater: Check text messages, other messaging apps and more

If your partner's been super-protective of his or her phone, and you suspect they're being unfaithful,  you could try and sneak a peek at their messaging apps. But note that regular text messaging apps (iMessenger) are for amateur hour…It’s worth giving it a quick scan to see if there are any individualized “do not disturb” message threads. However, WhatsApp is a likelier destination for illicit conversations (and do check the ‘Archived Chats’), or, for super savvy cheaters, they may even be making most of shared Notes apps on iPhone or even shared Google Docs. Draft emails on shared email accounts are also a go-to (yep, we’ve heard of this one). And don't forget to always consider aliases because ‘Aunt Becky’ may be someone else entirely (i.e. ‘Michelle’).

How to catch a cheater: Hidden audio or photo files

In addition to hidden messages, your partner may also be hiding audio or photo files. If your partner knows their way around the latest gadgets and apps, they may be secretly embedding images into other audio or picture files.

Making them is easy with DeepSound and QuickStego, and what may look like a funny animal picture may in fact be a steamy nude. You will need to know a special keystroke or code to unlock the file.

How to catch a cheater: Check bank statements

If you have a joint account, this is that much easier, but now there are also multiple ways to pay for trysts, including PayPal or points. Just look in your joint account for transactions you don't recognize, particularly for obvious things like lingerie, jewellery, hotel or restaurant bills. Anything out of the ordinary that could be a sign of infidelity.

How to catch a cheater: Check their trash folder

One should respect another person's privacy, of course, but if you suspect your girlfriend or boyfriend is cheating or your wife or husband is having an affair and you are ready to see it for yourself, then try going into his or her email trash folder if you have access. If they're actively emailing with someone else, they may have forgotten to permanently delete any conversations. While you're at it, you might also want to check their computer's recycle bin for any incriminating photos. If you find anything, then you can kick this human trash to the curb.

How to catch a cheater: Search

You can search every letter of the alphabet in the various search tabs on modern devices. While those doing something sneaky would be stupid not to delete their digital tracks on browsers (though we’ve met those as well), you may need to dig a bit deeper for signs of hookup apps such as AdultFriendFinder or similar sites. You may want to look at the Spotlight Search or see what Google predicts you are searching for based on your spouse’s prior searches.

How to catch a cheater: Check the Cloud

It's one thing to spot a liar, it's another to suspect that they've been receiving messages or pictures from another love interest. Just because your partner's deleted photos from his or her computer doesn't mean that they still don't exist somewhere. If your spouse is hiding pics and selfies and other unfaithful memories, it'll be in his or her Cloud storage. The basic ones may include iCloud, Google Drive or Amazon Prime, while Keepsafe Photo Vault, Vault or Hide It Pro indicate something more sinister is at play.

How to catch a cheater: Create a fake profile

You can log on to those websites that promote cheating spouses (you know the ones) and keep a look out for your spouse. Or you can start a little smaller, and create a Facebook or Instagram profile and see if he or she bites. You can take it a step further by sending him or her an invite and getting friendly/flirty and see what the response is like. If they're interested in meeting up or hooking up, they're on the hook.

How to catch a cheater: Confront him or her

At this point, you have all the evidence you need to prove that your spouse is cheating; now it's time to confront them. You just need to be prepared for what they have to say.