Are you aware of ways to enhance your marriage? Is there a necessity for improvement? One of the primary adversaries of a thriving marriage is a mediocre one. Many individuals find themselves in such mediocre unions. If someone were to inquire about the true state of your marriage, you might pause, shrug, and respond with “fine.” You coexist “fine.” You manage the children together “fine.” Everything appears to be “fine.” However, the issue with “fine” is that it often leads us to accept it as sufficient. But is “fine” truly adequate?
No, it is not essential for everyone to experience a marriage filled with intense romance, as that is largely impractical (a few individuals achieve this, and I admire them). Nevertheless, many of our “fine” marriages are merely a small effort away from becoming genuinely good. Transitioning from fine to good can be achieved through your dedication to cultivating specific habits that will enhance your marriage over time. Here are five habits that can significantly improve your marriage if you commit to them consistently. Details below..
1. Connection
In our busy lives, we often find ourselves preoccupied with careers, children, volunteer work, and community engagements. Frequently, it seems that the only conversations you have revolve around schedules and logistics regarding the children. It is essential to be more deliberate about fostering connection.
This does not require a significant time investment. However, it should occur regularly—perhaps 15 minutes each evening before bedtime, 10 minutes in the morning over coffee, during weekend breakfasts, and through text messages throughout the day.
2. Courtship
Although the term courtship may seem outdated, it aptly describes the phase when you were endeavoring to win over your spouse. You likely recall those moments—sending heartfelt cards, creating mixtapes of her favorite songs, and planning elaborate outings. What if the act of courting did not cease after the wedding vows, but instead evolved into a habit of consistently doing small gestures to charm your wife? What if you both made a concerted effort? Organizing monthly date nights, writing romantic notes, purchasing thoughtful gifts, and taking walks together could yield surprising results.
3. Curiosity
In successful marriages, it is common to believe that we fully understand our partners. After all, you may have been married for 5, 10, or even 20 years. However, there is likely still much to discover about your wife. Make it a practice to inquire about her daily experiences, her interests, and her feelings of excitement or anxiety. Consider establishing this as a nightly ritual when you reconnect. Foster a sense of curiosity regarding your wife; you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by the insights you gain.
4. Championing
It is essential to advocate for your wife's passions and interests. What drives her enthusiasm? Support her in pursuing those aspirations. Naturally, there are various factors to consider to ensure that both of you are aligned in working towards what is best for each other and your family. Unfortunately, in many Western cultures, it is often assumed that a wife must set aside her dreams for the sake of family, especially when children are involved. While she may make sacrifices, it is equally important for you to do the same. Part of this commitment involves creating an environment where she can also chase her dreams. If anyone were to ask your wife who her greatest supporter is, it should undoubtedly be you.
5. Community
Strong marriages typically thrive within a supportive community. It is unrealistic to expect that you can fulfill all of your wife's needs, just as she cannot meet all of yours. Make it a priority to spend time with individuals you both appreciate and who actively support the flourishing of your relationship. This could involve participating in a church group, engaging with a community organization, or simply enjoying the company of mutual friends. Just as no individual can exist in isolation, no marriage can thrive without a network of support.